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How NOT to Start an Email Marketing Campaign

Email MarketingThe launch of an email-based marketing campaign should be easy, right? It’s cost-effective, it can get you quick results and help you reach millions of new customers with just one click… right? Just tell them what to do, where to find you and your selling rates will hit the roof in no time… right?
Reality check: ANY kind of marketing campaign requires thoughtful planning. The Internet does not operate on magic. it would be nice if emails were brought to us by pixies. Much to our dismay, there is a logic to it and marketing experts are always trying to break its code. Sorry, there’s no magic in email marketing.
Unfortunately, some people still believe in fairies, pixies and such. Not exactly the best outsorcers for a marketing campaign…
Marketeers must always know the media they’re working on. There is a process on which a message is created, sent, delivered and received. In the case of electronic mail services, Ignoring its rudiments might lead head-first to disaster. Though it is not important for the customer to know the internal machinery of emails, it won’t do you any harm to research a little and get your facts straight. Knowing your media translates in efficient management.
But there is a certain pattern of thought that tends to ignore common sense. What is worse, this “magical” mindset adheres to a kind of superstition that promotes a complete lack of proportion between little efforts and big results. Granted: email marketing, when done ethically and with care, has proven to generate bigger conversion rates in no time and little investment. It is planning, more than execution, what sucks away most of the time.
If you want to fail, lose money, get your staff angry at you and find new ways to hate yourself, here is a simple list of steps that will turn your email marketing campaign into a living nightmare. If you believe in magic, this is a great time to banish negative energies away…
Always give people loads and loads of generic email contents that talk about how amazing your company is. Rinse. Repeat. Ad Nauseam.
If they don’t hate you by then, bloat your emails with heavy, slow-to-download graphics and attachments. Remember: content has to be entirely pointless
Let us assume that, somehow, you got your prospect interested. He found your content, to say the least, non-threatening and he was able to get past the heavy pictures of landscapes. Don’t set a clear call to action. Whatever you want them to do has to be blurred or, preferably, omitted.
In case your potential customer doesn’t hate your guts already, don’t forget to deliver your emails with as many grammar mistakes, spelling errors, broken links as you can afford to stuff your email with. If they weren’t interested before, this will definitely scare them away.
Don’t forget to send them pointless information over and over and over. Rinse. Repeat.
Want to jump from marketing illiteracy to the big leagues of felony? Ignore absolutely everything the Federal Trade Comission has to say about spamming. At this point, staff members, customers, random people and your family must think that you’re not only clumsy and uninformed but plain evil.
More pointless emails. Rinse. Repeat.
Can you feel how the room fills with negative energy? Can you feel the tension? The looks of hatred from your co-workers and the hairs rising on the back of your neck? It takes a deliberate effort to sabotage a campaign, but it takes some kind of magic to really upset as many people as possible with just one click. Congratulations: you managed to sink your email marketing campaign in no time.